Unemployment is Draining

Lord above !

I’ve been applying to jobs for far too long. I am literally not sure what to do. I never imagined being in a situation like this.

I have two degrees. I have been working since I was 15. My work history spans retail, customer service, food/hospitality, marketing, management, interior design, graphic communications, sales, technical drafting & rendering … Yet no bites ! Hardly even rejections. And the correspondences I do receive reek of AI vernacular. I cannot stand the cadence of these replies. I cannot tell anymore what is human. I’ve tailored dozens if not close to a hundred of resumes & coverletters, knowing that an algorithm is likely to filter it out b4 a person lays eyes on it. 

Mid-december last year, I began an excel sheet tracking my applications — it is nearing 300. Of that, I would say i’ve had about a 5% success rate in landing interviews. All of which, obviously, have been fruitless. Entry-level after entry-level interviews have ended with the unfortunate response of “moving forward with more qualified candidates.” My experience is not even entry level ! How can listings asking 0-2 years experience (when I have 4+ in some cases 6+) continue to filter me out? I am cold calling, cold emailing, showing up in person with a print of my resume ! still nothing:(

But really, what can I do but persist.

It is demeaning, though. Dehumanizing.

I am applying, and following up, and reaching out to HR (or whomever I can get contact info for), conecting on fuckass linkedin T.T and following up again, and emailing and calling. It feels like a humiliation ritual lamo !!! What more am I supposed to b doing? What key am I missing?

I fear the people around me judging me, thinking of me as a bum or loser or .. someone who isn't trying hard enough. Which should b the least of my worries lolololol !!! I cannot even get follow-ups from coffee shops, grocery stores, minimum wage jobs. I have worked those as well ! And honestly, have rlly enjjoyed my time in those types of positions.

And yet, it feels like I am feeding my personal information to bots. Sending my data to the ether to b sold and used. Asking my address, my ethnicity gender sexual orientation, even previous salaries !! Personal references and their information ! This is not sustainable !! This is not right !!!!! Majority of these listings don't even seem legit; I've seen listings with a copy-paste of the exact same wording, regurgitating the same 'company values' and cheeky one-liners. This has to b fucking fake yall !! The age of data farming is creating an economy devaluing people to what they are likley to buy, taking advantage of job-seekers to source more & more data from them. Of course, capitalism has been doing that. 

Jada jada I digest – I mean, digress.

I don’t think I can even describe fully how I have been left feeling. I suppose, hopeless. Dejected. Bummed :( ugh.

A week ago I had a phone interview I felt went pretty well. A technical drafting role, entry-level, my background aligned with the requirements (honestly, my experience exceeding the requirements.) Had a good chat with the guy, Mike. Said the second interview was in-person and included a proficiency assignment. I studied and practiced. The day comes for the follow up, and I am met with rejection :( Dang ! I reply asking what he felt I lacked, or some eloquent version of the question. Got what I assume to b 3 paragraphs of an AI response outlining why I was suited for the role, but ultimately that they decided another candidate was simply more suited. The message literally saying, “It wasn’t a matter of anything lacking on your end. In another situation or with a slightly different mix of applicants, I think you absolutely could have been a strong fit.” LIKE !! Shoot me w a gun next time ! Haha jp

But you see what I mean? How is a genuinely entry-level, fresh graduate supposed to get a job, when experienced ppl cannot? I do not understand this new market. I recall applying for jobs in like mmmm 2022 and getting an interview on the first application I submitted. Something I was hardly qualified to do ! Wasn’t using ‘tips’ or ‘tricks’ on my resume, just lazily scrolling indeed and applying to shit that made me think “hm, that would b fun.” Things have changed for far worse, and everyone seems to notice it. But what will it take for it all to change? How are jobseekers meant to adapt?

……

Tomorrow morning, at 5:30am, I have a ‘working interview’ at a coffee shop. 

Nearly 8 months into my job search, as a multiple degree holder, as someone with extensive work history. Never been fired, have been internally promoted, no negative notes from previous employers. Nearly 8 months.

LAMO ! What is that ! A working interview? I’m literally abt to b working a full-ass shift. Seven and a half hours. For them to decide if I get the job. When did it become like this? Mind you, this a job I applied to 6 weeks ago. No compensation posted, no benefits listed, no guaranteed hours. How is that fair?

(“LIFE ISNT FAIR” BLAH BLAH OBVIOUSLY)

Anyway, I’m annoyed. Of course so excited and blessed for the opportunity to have work (LOL). But is this not demeaning? If I was in the position where I was simply looking for a new job, currently employed, I would not even consider something like this. How ridiculous !

“Yeah so come do labour for us for 7.5 hours and we’ll decide if you get paid to do it”

HUH

Im so desperate, I did not even ask if there will be compensation for this ‘shift’, let alone what the hourly rate is. Ugh. How embarrassing. And its like a 50 min train ride lololz. Not the worst thing in the world, but ye

Mmmmm. When I doodled my lil doodle for this post, I felt I had more to say, more to vent and get out. But the words escape me now. I think I am just tired.